Is It Really A Food Allergy or Just A Preference?

These can be dreaded words to hear when you have a food allergy or a food intolerance. As someone who has managed multiple intolerances for years—and who has a daughter with nut allergies—it’s a question that pops up frequently when I’m eating out.

Here are my first thoughts when I get this question: Do they treat intolerances less seriously than allergies? If so, should I worry about the degree to which they will ensure my food is safely prepared? Why don’t restaurants maintain the same protocols for both?!

Before I share a personal story about this topic, let’s do a quick food allergy versus intolerance refresh:

What is the difference between a food allergy and a food intolerance?

A food allergy is an immune system reaction. Symptoms can affect the central nervous, respiratory, and gastrointestinal systems, and produce epidermal symptoms such as hives, rashes, or eczema. In the most extreme cases, a food-allergic reaction produces anaphylaxis, a life-threatening response that requires immediate medical treatment.

Food intolerances generally affect gastrointestinal function, but they can also impact the central nervous system, respiratory health, and skin. The main difference between a food allergy and intolerance is that although intolerance symptoms can be severe, they are not life-threatening and will not produce anaphylaxis. Learn more in this previous post!

Now for the personal story:  

This summer, my family and I went on a vacation to Colorado. Some of our friends raved about a sandwich shop in town and said it was perfect for a casual lunch. Upon arriving at the restaurant, I was delighted to find they offered GF bread—not every sandwich shop does! I knew I could partake in sandwich heaven. 😇 

At the counter, we mentioned our daughter’s nut allergy, and it was noted immediately. However, when I mentioned I avoid dairy and gluten, they asked if it was a “true food allergy” or just a preference. What’s difficult for me with that question is that although I don’t have a food allergy, I also don’t want to experience the symptoms of inadvertent exposure. 😣 I’ve never understood why a restaurant would not just follow the same procedures for all food-avoidant patrons, both from a procedural and customer service standpoint.   

This knocked my confidence a bit, but I was still excited about my veggie sandwich. However, red flag number two came after our food arrived. I took one bite and the bread tasted too good to be gluten-free. Note: I’ve yet to find a gluten-free bread brand that’s as tasty as regular bread, so if you have a fave you’re willing to share, please drop it in the comments below!  

I took my sandwich to the counter and politely asked the employee if it was gluten-free bread. Her response: Did you order it gluten-free? Yes, I responded. She fired back: then it is gluten-free. For a moment I stood there a bit taken aback that in my short time in their restaurant, I was both gluten-shamed 🤣 AND lacking confidence in what I was eating. Luckily, almost immediately, a second employee leaned over her shoulder and said: I made your sandwich, it is gluten-free.  

How do we feel about this food allergy fam? On one hand, I understand the restaurant’s question—wanting to know the potential severity if exposed to the allergen. On the other hand, it calls into question the integrity of their dedication to patron wellness—why should my health be risked because I won’t go into anaphylactic shock?  

This is a polarizing topic, I’m sure. Has this happened to you? How did you handle it? We’d love to hear your opinions and experiences—drop them in the comments below!

— Meg and the Amulet Team